i went a little nuts when my HS sweetheart died in a car crash. My mother - died when i was 12, but i have not lived how she raised me. I totally get this song and completely understand the pain as i have lived this.The song hit home for me and before I knew it i was grown with kids of my own and making them same mistakes but am getting it right before its to late.ĭude, the writer of this song must have spied on my life, tell me this is a weird ass coincidence: Break the cycle and love your kids and dont hurt them. Before you know it time flies by and you cant go back and change the past and you realize that its too late or is it? Take a look at your precious children and remember what you endured as a child and know that just because you remember everything doesnt mean that you have to continue the cycle of regret and abuse and neglect but change it before it is too late. Having a parent or parents walk out on you or absent from your life truly hurts.But the child eventually will grow up and as he/she grows he/she finds that he/she following in the exact same footsteps as his/her parents and wasnt everything he/she could have been to his/her loved ones because of the choices that he/she are now making.the exact same choices that he/she observed as a child. Having a painful childhood where one or both of your parents drink or do drugs causes so much turmoil in a childs life. To me this song is about a painful cycle that just goes on and on and it can only be broken with you. 'It all went by so fast, I still can't change the past' obviously shows he is regretting his past and who he was. Bottom line is, he has a huge regret for the burden he placed on his family and he's sorry. It could be a letter from the battlefield, or it could very well be a suicide note. This song is clearly about pain and regret. 'Dear sister, please don't blame me, I only did what I thought was truly right,' he's apologizing to his sister for the pain he caused her in doing what he had to do. He never stood behind his brother or supported him in anything. Then you go to the siblings, dear brother, just don't hate me for never standing by you or being by your side,' that pretty much explains itself. Nowhere does it say anything about abuse of any kind. He feels he's not good enough in his parents eyes. 'Dear Mother, I love you, I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough, dear Father, forgive me, 'cause in your eyes, I just never added up' It's like a letter to his past, he regrets his life. The members of Five Finger Death Punch are not seen performing the song, although they are spotted in the video.It's about someone who never lived up to the expectations of his family. He is then shown entering the white room (presumably heaven) as a child again. Just as he dies, he drops a fifty cent coin (shown previously hanging from his carseat as an infant) and a janitor pockets it. Eventually, he grows old and passes away in a hospital. In the white room, he is shown having fits of rage and angst throughout the video.
He gets married, joins the military, and returns to a less than perfect life.
He continues drawing his memories as he grows. It is hinted that he's abused and his father is an alcoholic. He begins drawing what he remembers in his life, including his home, parents, and events. The video, directed by Emile Levisetti, begins with a young child in white clothing drawing on a white floor surrounded by white walls. Moody stated that he and his parents never agreed on anything, that his mother still disapproves of his career in music, and that writing the song was a way of getting those thoughts out in the open. In an interview with Melissa Maria of Rat TV, lead vocalist Ivan Moody stated that he wrote the song, to talk about torments in his history.
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